she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize