when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
