Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
