Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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