i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
