Don't you send me to vm
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
