okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
