I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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