Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
