I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
