dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
