Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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