How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
