Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
