In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
