I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
