if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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