so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
