you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The power of my boobs compel you
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
