there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
