I bet he comes in French.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
