i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
