make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
