3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love having hate sex.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
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