U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize