I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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