hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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