we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
