This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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