i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
