he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
