my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
