We're facebook friends in real life
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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