Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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