Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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