homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
