Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
