Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
