Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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