Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wish you could order shots online.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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