Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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