how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize