There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
