i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize