The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
