Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
