Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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