I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
