that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
