I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
