Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
