you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
