you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
