Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
