dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
