I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
