You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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