woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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