Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He better not be in your backpack
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
