Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize