You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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